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“Well,” said Rudd,” we’ll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh and a blue cattle dog.

  Then we’ll really look the part. We’ll go to a typical old outback country pub, we’ll show we really enjoy the bush.”

“Right ,” said Julia.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set  off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

“G, day mate,” said Rudd, to the bartender, “two middies of your best  beer.”

“Good afternoon Opposition Leader,” said the bartender, “two middies of  our best coming up”.

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink.  The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.
He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

“Tell me,” said Rudd, “why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog’s tail like that?   Is it an old outback custom?”

”Strewth no!” said the barman. “It’s just that someone went ‘n told ‘em there was a cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes